An Email to John McCain

Bert & Ernie Surf the InternetsThe computer revolution has been raging for quite a while now. My 84-year old father surfs the Internet and kids use computers to keep from becoming No Child Left Behind victims. The global economy is almost totally dependent on computers and the military acknowledges that cyberwars aren’t 1939 World’s Fair notions about the future, but already exist. Even our Commander-in-Luddite can’t strip our Constitutional protections without using sophisticated computer systems.

Although most First World populations are at least noddingly familiar with computers, there remains one segment that is woefully under-prepared for navigating the revolution - the commercial and governmental leaders that regulate them. Most CEOs depend on staff to print anything electronic before they’ll read it. Many of them don’t have computers on their rain forest-depleting mahogany desks, relying instead on a nearly extinct office task - dictation. Ted Stevens - the senior Republican on the committee responsible for cyber-legislation - could only muster the goofiest of descriptions of the Internet as a series tubes and trucks. I’m not sure whether to laugh at his Chutes and Ladders notion or be shocked at how little a 21st century man knows about the infrastructure he legislates.

The Washington Post reports on a John McCain debate response in which he says he’d, “rely on a vice president” for help on less important issues such as “information technology, which is the future of this nation’s economy.”

Less important? Rely on his vice president? McCain acknowledges in one breath that IT is uber-important, but in the next says - in the unlikely event he becomes President - that he’d rely on someone like say…Duncan Hunter to sort it out for him. We’ve already seen what happens when a goof ball CEO president abandons major policy management to his vice president. The sight - as they say - ain’t pretty.

The computer revolution has mowed down entire career fields. When was the last time you dealt with a human bank teller instead of paying usurious fees to wrangle an ATM? We’ve moved from a world-leading role in computer technology to a nation overly dependent on Third World countries to invent and operate our vital infrastructure. That’s due, in large part, to a ruling class as oblivious to the importance and necessity of computers as their robber baron forerunners were of child labor or wage-slave conditions.

Instead of arguing about the electibility of a Mormon or whether pantsuits make Hillary a “bitch“, we need some assurance that the leader of a free world run by computers can at least get his or her email without the help of a 10-member staff. It’s high time that candidates start talking about their pitiful knowledge of the real world and lay out exactly how they would get the US back to a world leading cyber role. If they don’t, we’ll go the route of the dodo, Ted Stevens, and bank tellers.

Now, if only we could get those electronic voting machines to work.


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9 Responses to “An Email to John McCain”

  1. Matthew O'Keefe Says:

    McCain and computer technology is the gold standard of two things that don’t go together. Great Post!

  2. Lisa Says:

    You can’t talk about McCain he’s a war hero.

  3. Paul Watson Says:

    So was John Kerry, wasn’t he?

  4. me Says:

    Yes he was.

    Rumor has it that McCain’s request to leave his torturers after three and one half months of service was, um, denied. It hasn’t gotten the play that Kerry’s, “three scratches and you’re out” got though.

    There’s a certain gravitas to having endured what McCain did that Kerry, trasher of an entire generation of his fellow veterans will, sadly, never have.

  5. me Says:

    On the other hand, McCain’s policies can be examined, picked apart, and trashed at will, as far as I’m concerned, just as John Kerry’s were.

  6. me Says:

    I guess it is supremely funny, unless you understand the concept of analogy and metaphor. I don’t think that describing it as a bunch of tubes is all that bad an analogy for bandwidth issues. And those fiber optics and cables are actually all encased in tubes. Yes, he hasn’t mastered the lingo but then not many of his generation has. I haven’t and I purchased my first personal computer in the early 80s, back when anything you wanted to do with a computer you pretty much had to code yourself. My first modem was 300 baud. I’m not sure how accurately I could describe the internet. And, okay, he misdiagnosed the problem that delayed his “internet” (email) but he did get one part absolutely right: the Internet isn’t a big truck. :^)

    Being Ted Stevens, I’m surprised he didn’t use the analogy of the internet as a bridge to, well, nowhere. :^)

  7. 2008 president candidates » Blog Archive » An Email to John McCain Says:

    […] al protections without using sophisticate d computer systems. Although most First Wo source: An Email to John McCain, Bring It On! Election […]

  8. mike decker Says:

    the issue of “extras” added to bills passed by congress was addressed 146 years ago in the constitution of the confederacy: ” sec. 9 , cl 20…every law, or resolution having theforce of law, shall relate to but one subject and that shall be expressed in the title.” well?

  9. Joyce Wattie Says:

    I would like to say Mr. Obama needs to be stopped. Does he think Al Qaeda was not in USA on 911? Al qaeda was in iraq on 911 and any where else they want to be. How can you be judged about where you were born and he has a name like he has. thank you a very unhappy democrat.

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