Swiftboat Veterans Against Jesus

It looks like the rift is growing between Big Business and the Rapture crowd. This has to be one of the wackiest most twisted political coalitions in history — money-grubbing CEOs and Bible-totin’ tent revivalists. Helllooo!?!?!?!?! 2,000 years ago a wandering prophet preached love, compassion and tolerance and drove the money changers from the temple. And 2,000 years later, millions of his followers are still reciting his slogans, but they’re voting for the money changers. WTF???

Everyone to the left of Grover Norquist and less hateful than James Dobson has probably been waiting for years — decades —for these two groups to finally split up.

It’s easy to deceive yourself and see what you want to see, but things are looking hopeful. First, the “Family Values” dildos were threatening to splinter off into a third party if Giuliani gets the nomination. It’s probably just a hollow threat, but it’s a beginning; a crack in the wall.

And now the same rightwing millionaires who created Chickenhawk Shitstains Slandering a War Veteran Swiftboat Veterans for Truth are aiming their multi-million dollar hate machine toward Mike Huckabee.

Doesn’t Huckabee F%#$in’ Get It??? Sure, 99% of the Bible is about having compassion and helping people and not judging lest ye be judged and all that drivel. But come on, those are just symbols; code words. Nobody takes that shit seriously. One tenth of one percent of the Bible condemns promiscuity and homosexuality, and THIS is what conservative politicians have been focusing on.

THIS is how tens of millions of struggling working-class voters have been persuaded to keep voting against their own interests. “Yes, my opponent wants to increase your wages and raise your living standards, and I plan on keeping you down there in the gutter with piss-poor job prospects, no health coverage and shitty schools. But the good news is, I hate fags and pregnant sluts just as much as you do. Vote for Me!”

And it’s worked like a charm for almost thirty years. And then along comes this dumb redneck do-gooder who actually believes all that shit in the Bible about caring and helping others yada yada yada. And he has millions of followers. He’s ruining the Game Plan! Swiftboat Veterans to the rescue!

Houston homebuilder Bob Perry donated $4.5 million to the Slander Kerry campaign in 2004. This year he’s backing Mitt Romney’s campaign and so far he’s donated $200,000 to ClubForGrowth.net so they can smear Huckabee. Huckabee calls them the Club For Greed, and now it’s payback time.

Come on wingnuts, tear each other apart. Go for the jugular! Maybe, just maybe, this coalition of sickfucks will collapse. It’s sort of like seeing somebody you hate walk down the street yelling at himself and punching himself in the face.

3 Responses to “Swiftboat Veterans Against Jesus”

  1. Lisa Says:

    And here I thought it only Hillary doing stuff like that to Obama. Or maybe just maybe her and the Moveon crowd is secretly funding Huckabee to take away from Guliani and Romney. I wouldn’t put it passed the almighty Clinton machine.

  2. ascap_scab Says:

    This has to be one of the wackiest most twisted political coalitions in history — money-grubbi ng CEOs and Bible-totin tent revivalists. Helllooo!?!?

    Here is the ‘missing link’!!

    Missing link, get it?? Evolution?? The thing Huckabible, Brownback and Tancredo raised their hands and said they didn’t believe in?? (I crack myself up sometimes.)

    Corporatists know ‘morans’ can easily be separated from their money. Morans want to believe the lies they are told. P.T. Barnum, meet Suckers!!

  3. MK Says:

    The funniest thing is that the bible-toting crowd has been too stupid to realize they were pawns of the corporatists. But, then again, what else would you expect from a bunch of bozos who think the earth is 6,000 years old?

    Anyway, if the Democrats play this right and let the fundamentalist Christians flop-about – instead of wooing them with religious-rhetoric on the campaign trail – maybe we’ll get a generation or two reprieve from the in-your-face Jesus crowd. One can hope anyway.

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